


Double Date

by ficlicious



Series: SHIELD Academy for Avengers in Training [1]
Category: Avengers Academy (Video Game), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU of an AU, Avengers Academy - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Identity Porn, M/M, Misunderstandings, Twins, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 04:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5991511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficlicious/pseuds/ficlicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>or, The Perils of Dating Toni Stark</b>
  <br/>
  <i>or, A Tale of Two Tonis</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Clint’s only been going out with Toni for a couple of weeks, but he never thought he’d be this hurt by the fact she’s dating two guys at once. Especially when the other guy is Captain Frakkin’ America. Things just get weirder from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double Date

**Author's Note:**

> This wouldn’t leave me alone, so I wrote it instead of finishing the next chapter for Stars. I’m sorry, but hopefully with this cleared out of my head, I can get back to a world that isn’t quite as terrifying as this one seems to be.
> 
> AUish of the Stars 'verse.

Misery is defined by getting to the restaurant before your girlfriend, telling the hostess you’re here for the Stark reservation, and being led to a table already occupied by tall, blond and All-American. Well, no, actually. That’s not the definition of misery. That’s the definition of confusion. 

Misery is defined when you and blondie start talking, and you find out you’re both dating the same person. Hopelessness, which comes next on a wave of anger and betrayal, is knowing that there’s absolutely zero chance you’ll ever compete with a guy who has muscles stacked on muscles and the sweet disposition of a cherub-faced geek. If Clint wasn’t sitting across from him, hadn’t been talking to him for the last five minutes, he wouldn’t believe Steve is possibly real. 

Apathy swings by, last but not least, dragging through the wake of hurt. Clint sinks his face into his cupped hands, knowing that as much as he likes Toni, there’s not a chance in hell anyone would ever choose him – short, scrawny, more than half-deaf to boot – over perfect-in-every-way Captain Frakkin’ America.

“I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this,” Steve says for the sixth time, though Clint’s pretty sure he doesn’t believe it himself. “When Tony gets here, we’ll get it all sorted out.”

“Yeah, sure,” Clint mumbles into his palms. “There’s a perfectly valid reason for telling two guys you’re dating to show up at the same place at the same time that doesn’t involve an uncomfortable conversation that end with at least one of us, probably me, getting their hearts broken.”

Steve’s forehead furrows. “I’m sure there’s an explanation,” he says for the seventh time, but it’s weaker and more uncertain than it was the previous six times.

Clint responds by folding his arms on top of the table, and dropping his head into the crook of his elbow. “Wake me when I’m single again,” he mutters. 

Honestly, he should have expected something like this. They’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks. Which, he thinks sourly, is usually right around the time he starts getting attached and girls usually figure out they have better options available. He really should have seen this coming. 

A few minutes later, Steve nudges his elbow gently. “Tony’s here,” he says with a faint sigh. “With company.”

Clint raises his head and the apathy burns away as anger rises again. There she is, pretty and tousled in the way she only gets when she’s been in the workshop too long, walking towards the table with …. How many freaking boyfriends does she have? No, he doesn’t even want to know. 

Abruptly he stands, chair scratching the floor loudly as he shoves it back. “Screw this. I’m out of here. Good luck with her,” he says to Steve. “I hope you and she’ll will be very happy together.”

Steve starts, frowning again. “Her? What..?” He looks back at Toni and the other guy, dark and handsome in a red jacket and an arrogant swagger, and reaches out for Clint’s wrist. “Wait. Just wait a second.”

“Not interested anymore.” Clint jerks his hand away and stomps off towards the door. Toni’s bright smile falters when he gives her the dirtiest look he can muster. He’s proud of himself for not giving into the twinge that shocks through him in the vicinity of his heart, but he’s not quick enough to dodge her hand as she catches him gently on the shoulder. 

“Hey,” she says, worry and concern in her face and voice. “What’s going on? Did I do something wrong?”

“Did you…” He breaks off into a short, bitter laugh. “No, I guess not, if you’re into that sort of thing, but I don’t really date girls who have more than one boyfriend at a time. So see ya.”

“But…” She catches him again, and now she’s confused as well. “I don’t have more than one boyfriend. It’s just you.”

“Oh yeah?” He points towards the table, towards Steve. “Then who’s that?”

Toni follows his gaze as the black-haired guy starts laughing. Clint’s hands tighten into fists. He really wants to hit the other guy, but he’s too busy waiting to see shock or guilt or whatever else cross Toni’s face. “Who… Oh. Oh.” It’s fury, the kind that makes her eyes flash and her face turn red. “You  _asshole_.” 

And she turns and punches the other guy hard in the shoulder. 

“I _knew_ something like this was going to happen!” she hisses, jabbing a finger in his face. The guy’s now clutching his shoulder and laughing, and she looks like she wants to hit him again. “I freaking _told_ you so. But no, you had to go and do whatever you wanted to do, and now look at the mess you’ve freaking made of my life, _again_. I’m going to kill you and feed your body to sharks or something, I _swear_.”

Clint is struck with the sudden surety that he no longer knows what’s going on. 

“Honey, this is my brother,” Toni says, eyes closed and rubbing her forehead hard and rhythmic. “Who, until three weeks ago, was Ant Stark. For reasons I assume revolve around ruining my life, he’s decided that he needs a grown-up name, so now he’s—“

The other guy, still clutching his shoulder, reaches out a hand towards Clint. “Tony Stark,” he says, with a wide grin. “Tony with a Y. Steve’s _my_ boyfriend. Not hers.”

“Oh,” Clint says dumbly, looking between them, as his brain struggles with processing the information. “Wait, what? You—“ He gestures at Toni, who is side-eying her brother with a glare promising death. “—and you are both Toni Stark?”

Toni sighs. “Natasha Antonia,” she says. “We’re twins.”

Tony grins. “Anthony Edward,” he adds. “It confuses everyone.” He claps Clint on the shoulder, risks life and limb to kiss Toni on the cheek, and then goes to the table to slide onto Steve’s lap and kiss him thoroughly. The tiny, nearly subconscious fear niggling at Clint’s brain, the one whispering that this is all just a ploy, vanishes as Steve, completely embarrassed if the bright red blush is a sign, kisses Tony back with reciprocal enthusiasm. 

“Clint?” Toni asks softly, and her hand hesitantly touches his arm. He turns back to her, and she’s uncertain and vulnerable. “Are you okay?”

“You’re not dating Steve,” he says, settling his hands on her shoulders and sliding them down her biceps. 

She shakes her head, small smile at the corners of her mouth. “Nope. Not dating anyone else, for that matter. Except this one guy, who’s pretty good with a bow.”

“He gets inappropriately attached way too early and likes to jump to conclusions,” Clint says. “Might want to steer clear of that one.”

Toni shrugs lightly. “Nah. Suits me fine. Besides, I’m clingy and scatter-brained and I keep weird hours and weirder friends. He seems like he can keep up with me there, so if it’s all the same, I’m going to hang onto him.”

Later, after meals are had and arguments witnessed (“You could have gone with Edward!” “Yeah well, you could have gone with Natasha!” “I’ve been Toni my whole life, you _ass_!”), a thought occurs to Clint as he’s stirring sugar into his coffee. “Out of curiosity, does Fury know there are two of you?”

There’s a pause, and Clint feels the faint prickling of unease creep over the back of his neck. “I’m never sure how much Fury knows,” Toni says, sipping her coffee. 

“But if he doesn’t already, he will soon,” Tony says cheerfully. “We’re sharing lab time tomorrow. That’s always fun.” 

Steve looks faintly alarmed, and chokes on his coffee. Clint can’t blame him. He’s seen one Toni Stark working, half controlled chaos and half reacting on the fly to looming disaster. Two Tony Starks … His brain doesn’t even want to comprehend it. 

Tony thumps Steve between the shoulder blades. “Breathe, babe. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Except it might be,” says Toni in a way that makes Clint’s blood run cold, because no one should talk about apocalypse with that much glee. “There was that robot uprising we nearly caused at Dad’s tech fair over the summer.”

“Oh _please_. We’ve learned loads since that episode,” Tony says, rolling his eyes. “It’s going to be the dawn of a glorious new era for biofuels by noon.” 

“Or, at the very least, a few moderately-sized explosions,” Toni adds, after a moment of thought. She grins at Clint, slides her gaze to Tony and holds out a fist. “For science,” she declares, apparently having forgiven her brother in the interest of blowing stuff up.

Tony knocks into her fist with his own, a matching grin on his face. “For science.”

Clint decides right there and then, if the Academy survives tomorrow’s pending Armageddon, the Stark twins must never, ever be introduced to Bruce Banner.

**Author's Note:**

> Born of [this post](http://mystillyoungself-ficlicious.tumblr.com/post/139175133401/sooo-i-did-a-thing) in which I am shamelessly enabled by my readers. :) 
> 
> Crossposted to [my Tumblr](http://mystillyoungself-ficlicious.tumblr.com/post/139233483256/an-avac-au-of-my-au-sorta).


End file.
